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Showing posts from February, 2012
Written about 8 weeks ago...
Didn't have the courage to post until now. 
I don't doubt, at least I try not to. I knew it was coming, I just didn't quite expect it to hit this hard, or in these particular circumstances. Where do I find my joy? In the only place that remains firm...but that has not been the case leading up to today.
A few months ago while still in Cairo, I awoke in the middle of the night, feeling the nudging of the Holy Spirit as He whispered a truth to me, a wave of something I was fearful of, but knew was indeed true. My joy was not in Him. When I awoke the next morning, I remember sitting in my flat before work, a new day ahead, yet frustrated. "What do you want me to do Lord? NOT appreciate the blessings you have given me?" I didn't know how to respond, but I sensed a darkness was coming, that my venture home to the States may indeed bring some pain. I ignored it.
Despite the difficult parts of living in Egypt, I was happy there.…