Showing posts from March, 2012

When there still isn't a plan...

Be present. Be still.
But I don't want to.
On almost a daily basis, I hear the question, "So what is next for you, Christy?"
I have no clue. And I hate it.
But I guess, I should be more concerned about the day people stop asking me this question. So why should that concern me? 
Pride. My reputation. 

No, I don't want people thinking I am done trying to figure it out, giving up on big things to come, closing up shop. Just because I don't have a specific dream to pursue in the moment, does not mean there isn't a story to tell, or a goal to achieve.
What is that goal? Well, in the moment "being present and being still." And it is tougher than one would think...going against everything this girl is used to. 
Stop gabbing, quit whining, and soaking in a bath of self pity (I am only speaking to myself).  I am terrified that I have been wasting the present relationships and opportunities I am facing today, by focusing so hard on making a plan...setting a…
This morning was rough. I awoke in a total funk, frustrated at myself for the way I was feeling, struggling with being thankful amongst life's storms...longing for Heaven, thankful for the hope it provides.
The Spirit continued in grace when it pointed me to this entry from Streams in the Desert. 
So encouraged, I had to post it...
 March 22 Entry
After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near mount Sinai… Then the Lord said to him,”… I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will send you back to Egypt.” (Acts 7:30, 33-34)

Forty years was a long time to wait in preparation for a great mission. Yet when God delays, he is not inactive. This is when he prepares his instruments and matures our strength. Then at the appointed time we will rise up and be equal to our task. Even Jesus of Nazareth had thirty years of privacy…

Prayer confuses me...

Prayer confuses me, but that doesn't give me permission not to do it. There are so many perspectives, opinions, interpretations, and all round talk about the tool and power of prayer. I find myself pretty skeptical and uneasy of books written about prayer. Maybe this is wrong on my part...or maybe I'm right on. I don't really know.
Some of my insecurities and/or questions about prayer are:
Should we pray even when we don't feel like it? Or skip it when our hearts aren't "feeling it?"  Does prayer make a difference in what the outcome will be? How?... if God already knows and/or determined that outcome? Does it matter how often we pray? Should we pray specifically? Should we pray generally? Should we pray more for others? Should we pray more for ourselves? Does God get frustrated when our "lists" are longer than our praises? Does He want us to keep asking for the desires of our hearts? How do we know when to stop? How much does prayer "influence" w…