Showing posts from August, 2012


Something I have never been good at, is goodbyes. And having my life split between a number of significant places across the globe, one would assume this has gotten easier. It hasn’t. Many places hold severe significance to my story…all have been “home” in some sense. None are rated higher than the other. Each hold a part of me, have formed my heart into what it is today, have worked me over, tugging at my heart, and whispering for me to return. I couldn’t choose one of these places if I had to, so I am thankful this is not a task before me at this time.
Coping, however I can do. I have learned to look forward, to gauge the future with a speck of joy in the mystery, focusing on what is to come, not allowing myself to live too much in my mind, where I can’t be physically in the present. But honestly, it makes me wonder how “natural” goodbyes are supposed to be. My coping mechanism is to block the emotion from taking root for too long, dismissing the reality of separating. I tend to do …

Conditional "Grace", Dreams, and the Call...

Good news...and bad news. That pretty much sums up life, right? Well, I can assure you that I am just thankful to finally be getting what I can consider some "good news". For those of you that have been keeping up with this blog, which initially began as me processing through crazy life in Egypt, but suddenly became more of my struggle with my faith, you have observed me going through quite a wild ride. 
So what's the bad news? Well, where my sin is, there will always be bad news. 
I realized something about myself recently...and no, it was not anything anyone pointed out, a conversation or anything like that. It was more of a trend I noticed in my thought processes, my journal entries, and a recent blog post I wrote, but then soon after, removed. A string of some negativity jumped out...and I am surprised that I am only now noticing it.
I often have found myself writing about or thinking through the process of GRACE...grace with others, grace with myself, and God's gr…