The Loss of Aimee

I am a Christian. There, I said it. But there have been moments of me staying quiet, conflicted over whether I wanted people to know. Once bold about my faith, I currently find myself facing an internal battle. Why does the title I once bore with such joy, now seem a burden?  I work in a field where this affiliation does not necessarily carry the positive image, one might expect.

I knew that bringing this up by putting it into writing could cause backlash. What would my fellow Christians think?  But I am perplexed in regards to the patterns I see going on around me and have taken part in myself. I look at the words I have used when in conflict, my attitude when addressing someone I deeply disagree with, and the distance I have put between myself and loved ones struggling. Then I look at scripture. They do not align as often as they should. But it's not just me. It's all around me. And as I have been told again and again of what my title as Christian is often interpreted as, I can't be proud. 

In a world where we are called to love, we have somehow developed a global reputation for being the exact opposite of that. In a time where people need to be pointed to Jesus, we seem to have caused His followers to appear cold, compassionless, hateful, divided, and full of arrogance. What is happening? 

I am not saying we shouldn't stand up for the truth we believe is laid out in scripture. 

I am not endorsing cherry-picking parts of the Bible easier to accept, while discarding  those sections that make us uncomfortable. 

I am not calling us to stay silent about what we know is wrong. 

I am questioning the apparent disregard of love in how we are known to deal with people. 

What if Jesus was walking amongst His church right now? I shudder. How did we get here? When did we become this? Are our current actions demonstrating the way of living by the Fruit of the Spirit…a walking, talking example of the image of Christ in us? Where is the grace that has been offered to us that we stand on and proclaim confidently as the foundation of our beliefs?  Is it not pumping through our veins every day sustaining our existence?

We are doing some things, well. I do see that. But if the perception of our actions is not that of God's love, then we are missing the mark. Even good intentions can cause harm,  and I think we have arrived at that very place. God has a standard for how He calls us to live and we believe there is freedom in abiding according to His sovereign plan. But somehow, it seems we have forgotten our call to treat others with respect when we communicate our differences with them.

When addressing someone that we disagree with or see behaving inappropriately, we are commanded to treat them with gentleness and humility. We can stand for something without eliminating the fact that we are dealing with an actual person...flesh, blood, and a soul created in the image of God.

The world should be looking at the church as the example of how to love. We have been commanded to uphold the standard on what it means to serve selflessly. The world should be able to come to us with full confidence that we will treat them with grace, patience and respect, no matter if we agree or not. It should be a no-brainer: Christians = LOVE. We should be the safe place, the haven to run to. But that is not the current reality of what we are known for. Shame on me. Shame on us.

As Christians, we have a beautiful advantage. We can remain grateful of the grace Jesus pours down on His church, even as we work to address the negative behavior we often display to others.  Our humble response should be to share that very element of grace in how we carefully handle the sin around us, in how we pray with and for the world, and in how we stand to seek His glory as our primary agenda. 

How can we better reflect the true, living God? It's a big task, but we can pull together and do it. 

We have to.