20 Things My Parents Did Well

Nope, I am not a parent…not yet anyway. Although I have to say that elementary school teachers do not receive sufficient credit for their knowledge and experience with other people’s children. Outside of the parental box, the person who knows your child the best should be his/her teacher if the job is being done correctly. Seven hours a day with your child? Experts. Good teachers know about kids…they see all types. 

A substantial benefit of being around so many children is having contact with an abundance of families of all colors, shapes, sizes and mental states. Of course this means being pulled into family dramas, and witnessing an array of parenting styles and discipline techniques, which at times serves as an excellent dose of birth control. And other times, reminds you how much you really do want some of your own. But at the same time, you can't help but take mental notes of what you hope to imitate in the future or NOT copy with your own kiddos one day. 

I am noticing (and at times irritated) with how trendy it has become to arrogantly show and tell about different views of parenting.  

"What to say to your kids"
 "What not to say to your kids"
 "What to feed your kids"
"What not to feed your kids"
 "To spank"
 "Why not to spank"
 "Co-sleeping"
"Why not to co-sleep"
"Home school"
 "Why not to home school"
"Immunize"
"Why not to immunize"

...and the list goes on and on...

For those of us not yet in the game, it can be overwhelming to try and research contrasting views. And who is more passionate than a mother defending how she raises her young?
Maybe no one. 

All I can offer is what I was around as a kid….how my parents did it. And honestly, there isn’t a lot I would change. Of course mistakes were made, but all in all, I plan on reproducing most of these tactics. Let me share a bit of what my parents did well. They probably don’t realize how much I appreciate it…especially after reading and seeing a lot of garbage being taught today. I feel like I got blessed with these two. 

So what did my parents do well?

1. No boyfriends in high school. Daddy used to say that the only purpose of a boyfriend was to find a spouse, and in high school, you aren’t ready for that. You also aren’t emotionally stable enough for the terror of when young love ends in heartbreak, which usually is the result. Wise man. 

2. They took us to church. They didn't do the whole "you can worship God anywhere" (which you can), but they valued the reverence of Holy God. 

3. Limited screen time. It probably was a blessing to my parents that “screen time” fights weren't much an issue back when I was a kid. But even the little access we had was monitored. They were careful with how much time we spent in front of the tv and what was viewed. They had the minds of four girls to protect and they took that role seriously.

4. We shared our bedrooms.  The house we grew up in had six bedrooms, plenty for each girl to have her own room and still have a spare. But they didn’t let us. They wanted us to learn how to share our space with others, and work through conflicts. I still remember late night talks with my sister, lying in bed at night. And yes, that meant we had 3 spare bedrooms. ;)

5. My mom is a prayer warrior. Every morning, she could be found praying in her “quiet time chair”.  She remains constant in this. 

6. Camping! We camped in the backyard when daddy had to work, but mom wanted to take us camping, but not by herself. We took day trips to the lake and the zoo, but spent our nights camping outside next to the house. One rule…no going inside. We took it very seriously ;) 

7. We got spanked. But I can assure you they did it when they were calm, had removed themselves from the situation, and could gently explain why they were doing so. 

8. Runs with daddy. Special talk time and taught us to value health and exercise.

9. Global awareness.  Growing up, we often had exchange students and/or missionaries from all over the world who would stay with us for a period of time.  Exposure to people from other places who looked differently, smelled differently, talked differently and acted differently was one of the most beneficial educations I received. We also had five World Vision students we sponsored, and a giant map labeling where they lived. We were miles ahead of our friends when it came to world cultures. 

10. “I win” was daddy’s motto. He refused to be in a house where children ran the show, or parents bowed to every demand and whimper of their kids.  We weren’t allowed to throw tantrums…so we didn’t (most of the time). 

11. Thankfulness. We ate what was put our plate because we were taught to be kind and appreciative for what we were given.  If we didn’t want it, we didn’t eat. I think we always ate whatever was there. 

12. Go play. Sometimes they locked us in the backyard for a couple of hours so we would use our imaginations. 

13. Allowance. We had money when we earned it, based on completion of assigned chores. And they taught us to tithe our 10%. 

14. Generosity. At Christmas, we would adopt a local family whose father was in prison and provide Christmas presents for them. 

15. No big deal. They let us quit piano when we got bored, and didn’t force us to be anything we didn’t want to be.

16. Confidence. They came to our soccer games, choir concerts, dance recitals, and awards programs to show support. But sometimes couldn’t make it and it wasn't the end of the world. We didn’t make too big of a deal out of it. We knew we were loved regardless.  And in a big family, we learn we aren’t the center of the universe. We were confident our parents' love and support. 

17. Ice-cream. We pretty much had ice-cream for dessert most nights. Why not have dessert on a regular basis?

18. Germs were not an issue. Mom stressed cleanliness, but never seemed worried if we forgot to wash our hands or ate a cookie that had fallen on the floor. Yes, we are still alive and healthy. 

19. They supported our teachers. If we complained or had an issue with something at school, they never under minded the teacher's authority in our presence. This is huge.

20. Commitment. Our family has been through some tough times, and things have never been "easy". But through it all, they stayed married, no matter what.  

Oops! One more! When all the girls were almost out of the house...they adopted a crazy 18 month old red headed boy who needed a family. 

Thankful.