Random Ramblings of a Non-Hugger

One thing people are often surprised to find out about me is that I am not a hugger. Just because I like you, doesn't necessarily mean I want to hug you. And me not hugging you doesn’t mean I don’t like you, won’t hug you, or hate being touched. Well, I may not like you, but that is not to be defined by the fact that I don’t prefer to hug you. 

There is something super intimate about pressing my body and awkwardly smashing my chest against someone else’s. I am pretty sure hugging is a sexual position, just the vertical option. At least that is often how it can feel. Yikes!

I have lived in cultures where kissing someone on the cheek is to be expected, and I don’t mind this a bit…in fact I think it is sweet, and often miss it when I return to my home country of “hugs”.  Cheek pecks only require one part of the body to touch someone else, and it is quick enough that there is no awkward linger with the question “Who will pull away first?” Now, this can change in moments where lips accidentally collide, especially when someone’s mouth is open. Yes, this can happen, and suddenly, you find yourself feeling as though you did something very wrong.

Also, touching is not a problem, in fact, I often find my hands on other people when we are talking, and can usually tell by the look on their face if this is or isn’t to be tolerated. I have had guys tell me it is best not to touch their leg when talking with them, which to me has seemed totally harmless, but apparently does cross a line. Good for me to know.

Now there are exceptions for me when it comes to hugging, for example: anytime I am leaving to depart abroad you had better bet I will hug my parents tightly, and of course dating relationships require comfy hugs, and I don’t think twice about it. Also, cuddling kiddos. Nothing beats a child wrapping his/her tiny arms around your neck. I look forward to the day I get to do this with my own children.

To all of you that have been helping me “practice” my hugging…through teaching me about my need to stop “patting” as a nervous habit,  requiring I stay in the embrace position while you laugh at my body awkwardly tensing, and reminding me how silly I am being….THANKS! I do hope to outgrow this…I do. J