Walking into 2023 with many things to be grateful for, but
2022 was a beast.
January, I began a new job cross country... in
North Carolina.
February, I received a promotion.
May, I was informed our program was shutting down.
August, I secured a new position with significant
international travel, across 15 countries. To say I was thrilled would be an
understatement.
November 7th was my cancer diagnosis. All travel
cancelled. Chemo scheduled.
Dec 6th was my first chemo.
Dec 20th, closed on a house.
Dec 27th, second chemo. I am currently
sitting in the side effects of fatigue, bone pain, nausea, and brain fog (amongst other icky things).
Dec 26th, car in the shop…where it remains until
issues are resolved.
Dec 29th, loaner car provided.
It’s strange to go from pure independence to relying so
heavily on others. In some ways, I would say this has been one of greatest
challenges of the diagnosis. But it’s a pride issue. I hate asking for help, to
feel like a burden, to be in “need.” But we all need something from someone…serving
and being served in return.
It does not help that the side effects from chemo are no
joke, and the fatigue is severe. Luckily, I have some “cancer buddies” at
the office who can confirm how they dealt with it so I don’t feel like such a
mess. Working is harder than I thought it would be, and with new projects launching, I am not wanting to slow down. But I do not really have a choice. Surrender to what the body needs is the only option. I have decided a break from grad school is necessary, and caved. First cycle of treatments will end in March, and then we can re-evaluate.
I smile at God’s goodness in this and at His people. I am
being challenged daily on what Christian community means, what I am learning
from those all around, and what I want to change about how I serve
others moving forward.
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