The Loss of Aimee

 

Walking into 2023 with many things to be grateful for, but 2022 was a beast.

January, I began a new job cross country... in North Carolina.

February, I received a promotion.

May, I was informed our program was shutting down.

August, I secured a new position with significant international travel, across 15 countries. To say I was thrilled would be an understatement.

November 7^th was my cancer diagnosis. All travel cancelled. Chemo scheduled.

Dec 6^th was my first chemo.

Dec 20^th, closed on a house.

Dec 27^th,  second chemo. I am currently sitting in the side effects of fatigue, bone pain, nausea, and brain fog (amongst other icky things).

Dec 26^th, car in the shop…where it remains until issues are resolved.

Dec 29^th, loaner car provided.

It’s strange to go from pure independence to relying so heavily on others. In some ways, I would say this has been one of greatest challenges of the diagnosis. But it’s a pride issue. I hate asking for help, to feel like a burden, to be in “need.” But we all need something from someone…serving and being served in return.

It does not help that the side effects from chemo are no joke, and the fatigue is severe. Luckily, I have some “cancer buddies” at the office who can confirm how they dealt with it so I don’t feel like such a mess. Working is harder than I thought it would be, and with new projects launching, I am not wanting to slow down. But I do not really have a choice. Surrender to what the body needs is the only option. I have decided a break from grad school is necessary, and caved. First cycle of treatments will end in March, and then we can re-evaluate. 

I smile at God’s goodness in this and at His people. I am being challenged daily on what Christian community means, what I am learning from those all around, and what I want to change about how I serve others moving forward.

There's a gift in the madness...a lesson to be learned. Holding on tight.