Divine Appointment

Remember that time a complete stranger asked you for what can only be labeled as "life changing advice?" You know what I mean, right? Seven minutes into a conversation and suddenly you hear the words:
"What do you think my husband and I should do? 
What does it sound like God is telling us? " 

It was at that moment I realized I didn't even know this woman's name. Gulp. 

Here's what happened.

I was asked by a woman I have recently met, if I would attend the baby shower of her soon to be born twin girls. I generally choose to only attend showers of people I know well, not random acquaintances, especially if I don't know ANY of the other guests.  Normally, these situations don't intimidate me in the slightest. I can make sure I know everyone by the time I leave, and I usually do. But I just wasn't feeling it today.  However, I was going to be in the area, so I decided the polite thing to do would be to stop by, eat a cupcake, win a prize (yes I did. I won pink hot chocolate mix cause I am a good estimator and guesser)...and then be on my way. The moment I walked in late, they stopped what they were doing, so I could be introduced, since no one had a clue who I was. It was extremely awkward, and the mom to be was rambling sweet things about me, which I am sure none of the other guests cared a bit about. I smiled politely, trying to get the attention back to what they were doing, already starring at my watch and thinking, "What is the minimum time frame I can stay and it not be considered rude to leave?"It was just plain awkward. They all knew one another, and I was tired, and not in the mood for small talk, or really talking at all.

It was a gorgeous day outside, and all I wanted to do was get to my nephew's baseball game. 

Then it happened. 

About 10 minutes before I was planning to sneak out, this beautiful woman with long black hair, and the largest blue eyes I have ever seen, made it a point to come and talk with me. I had noticed her earlier, cause she just seemed like a sweet person, and for some reason she caught my attention with the way she was interacting with the other guests.

"So you are quite the world traveler I hear," she said to me. 
"You just returned from a trip to Egypt?"

"Well, I lived in Egypt," I calmly replied.

"WHAT?" she stated.

I am used to people's responses...some funny, some rude, some ignorant, some sweet. Her's was in a category of its own.

"You know, the Ugandan Children's Choir was just in the area for two weeks and we hosted two in our home. We just started the adoption process for them," she said.

She then proceeded to tell me all about how she and her hubs were already the parents of four children, decided to pursue these adoptions, but felt God was giving them "mixed signals", and so they stopped the process.  I am sure she could tell by the look on my face I was a bit taken back by their decision to stop moving forward. Based on what she was telling me, I found it totally bogus to stop so suddenly...and I was hoping for the chance to politely tell her that (not using the word bogus of course), if she asked. She did. Multiple times...and had so many questions.

She asked me:

if I thought she and her husband were making the right decision...

if I saw their circumstances as a closed door...

if I thought it was wise as a home school mom to bring more kids into her home...

if adopting older kids was a bad idea...

if I thought she seemed too uptight...
etc etc...

I tried my best to encourage her to pray and move forward until there was a concrete reason to stop their plans. I mean, she and her husband agreed in their desire for these children,  the Bible is clear about our responsibility to help orphans, they have the resources to do so, it lined up with Scripture, and most importantly, they were truly seeking the Lord with this. They wanted His will. I tried to reassure her that as she seeks Her God, He will guide. 

I could see how much she wanted this adoption, but she was struggling. She kept saying, "I know I need to surrender." Her motive to "do the right thing" was clear to me. I respected that. 
But something seemed off. Could she be trying too hard to get a clear answer? I think so.

I sat there, a bit stuck, thinking, "This could become a HUGE theological discussion that I am not sure I am prepared for." I tried to get her to see things a little bit more simply, to just relax, and to take a deep breath. She was wound up pretty tightly, and was giving me a lot of power in those few moments that we shared. I was trying to choose my words carefully, praying silently for wisdom and clarity with how to effectively communicate with her. But the kicker for me was when she made the following statement.

"Christy, I know I am struggling with anxiety over this decision...and anxiety is a sin."

Umm "NO it is not," I quickly stated as I cut her off.

There it was. Clearly this woman was being fed a negative opinion about her struggle with anxiety, and if I did nothing else productive at that shower, I was going to make sure she heard the other side.

So there we sat, as the others opened up presents around us, and we just talked. 

I shared with her about her responsibility to acknowledge and surrender her fears and worries daily, knowing it could be an on going struggle, if not a moment to moment battle at times. 

We talked about her needing to never think she "had conquered it", remembering it might be something to surrender again and again...knowing it was through Christ alone she would be able to overcome her struggle.  

We spoke of her need to rest in the assurance that the Lord would give her the strength she needed, and it was nothing to be ashamed of...she was to rely on His power, ask for His courage, and peace, and walk forward in confidence that He is with her...daily. 

We talked about how medication is not always a negative thing, and menopause can lead to hormone changes producing anxiety and depression. People need to extend grace with situations like this. It's case by case. It's not black and white.

We talked about how anxiety could become sinful, but so could so many emotions, and she needed to be careful and conscientious about those judgements, not putting God in a box, or sin.

I ended with this advice to her. "Don't over think it." Don't over think the adoption and don't over think your anxiety. Pray. Trust He will guide you and your family, and walk in chosen peace.

Sounds simple. It's not. I mean seriously, chosen peace? What the heck? What was I saying? That I think we have to choose peace? Yikes. 


But seriously...Yes. I think sometimes it's a choice for now, and in our control. Sometimes, it's delayed. Well, that is my experience, anyhow. But I guess that could go a whole other direction in regards to the question, "what is peace." Yeah, I am so not attempting to blog about that one. 


So getting back to my story...

As the words left my mouth, I felt a bit a freedom I haven't felt in months. It was evident to me, as I was speaking with her, that the Lord was giving me words I needed to hear. This lesson was for me. Maybe she too would take something away from our conversation, but I was thankful and encouraged by my own advice today. "Don't over think it."

It was at that moment that her face relaxed, and as the shape of her giant blue eyes changed,  she finally took a deep breath. It was almost like I was "giving her permission" to just stop for a moment...and trust, blindly. We ended on that sweet note.  I can tell you right now that I have NOT been taking my own advice, but I need to start.

..."Christy, don't over think it." In my search for clarity and direction, I finally gave myself permission to just stop thinking. It feels good.